LGBTQ Love

You’re probably thinking “this guys has obviously never experienced love” well you’re wrong! I have and this is why I hate it. I fell in love once I won’t bore you with the gory details, but in the end it destroyed me.

The very second you tell someone you love them it stops being what it was before, there are expectations to be met, standards to live up to and the specific itinerary you have to start checking off in your daily life. In that very same second, the person on the other end of this emotional revelation has a very important decision to make, so important that they don’t even register it as a thought. The immense pressure on someone for that second, which feels like an eternity, is gut wrenching.

DO THEY REPLY WITH CONFIRMATION?? STAY SILENT AND WAIT FOR THE BARRAGE OF RIDICULOUS QUESTIONS OR HEAVEN FORBID LIE THROUGH THE SKIN OF THEIR TEETH?!?!?! WHAT DO YOU DO?!?!?!

Now I made a promise to myself that I’d never love someone again solely because I didn’t want to put myself through that cycle of destruction ever again when it inevitably comes to a gruesome end. You may call that selfish, I prefer to call it self preservation!

So due to this promise I stay silent, but I do let girls know that I won’t love them before it’s even announced on Facebook so give me some credit. Thanks. Whatever you do in that situation is down to you as a person and what love means to you.

Personally, love means very little to me. There are varying degrees of it obviously, you can’t compare your love of baked beans to the love of your partner. Lately it’s become so watered down that Aldi’s own brand fruit cordial has more body to it. Every single day I see some complete melt of a person profess their undying love for a partner all over my newsfeed, it’s like these people are bragging that they’re so irrefutably in love it makes me want to choke them with their own hands. I’m certain that around 98% of people couldn’t care less that you “had an amazing time being spoilt by your incredible GF/BF (insert name here) and you couldn’t ever imagine life without them because you love them to the moon and back.” It’s at that point where you say a word over & over then all of a sudden it means nothing to you anymore, that’s what it’s like for me to see the words ‘I love you’.

I’m 100% certain this person you love would prefer you to tell them face to face so it kind of means something more. Don’t get me wrong though I tweet about my girlfriend sometimes (SURPRISE I’M NOT A GRUMPY LONELY MAN!!!!) if she does or says something funny/cool/annoying, that’s all good it inspires a reaction from someone!

The happiness it can bring is incredible I know that but that happiness is nothing in comparison to devastating lows you’ll experience when you’re tossed aside like last night’s cold drunken kebab. The happiness you feel is always temporary. There’ll be something downright shit right around the corner to smash it into nothing and that’ll leave you broken, trying to regain that level of happiness, but you can’t just do what made you insanely happy before because it won’t make you as happy as it did the first time- you have to go even bigger to get that hit of joy you so desperately desire. Your thirst for cheer is unquenchable, the search for absolute happiness will never be over for anyone!

As soon as you tell someone you love them the relationship gets lazy, you stop being spontaneous, you stop the compliments because well what does it matter? You love each other right? You both know in your head that they think you’re the brightest star in their night sky even if they don’t reinforce it with words it’s fine- you’re in love, right?

I know it sounds like I’m bitter, stuck in the past and stupidly pessimistic, but the truth is I’m just a realist. So as I wrap this up I ask you just to think about the next time you’re about to confess your love to someone for the first time, think about how that person might feel about love, if they’ve had bad experiences in the past and if they have don’t hound them for the love you want but they cant give, as long as it’s a good relationship love shouldn’t matter.

Oh yeah, one more thing, think twice before you post your next love confessing update on social media- just keep it personal.

Until next time, peace!